It's been a few rough days... Sometimes its like that. The little black dog was in full effect. I did some reading and I think I found a bit of sunshine.
'He observed that depression often arises when a person is pursuing an unattainable life goal, and often remits when that goal is achieved or given up. (Bibring, 1953). This quote is from one of my favorite books from college, Evolutionary medicine by Wenda R. Travathan 1999.
What does it feel like to be depressed? If you are reading this blog, perhaps you have experienced this feeling, or you are currently experiencing it. Depression can last a short period of time, such as an evening, or a few days, usually following some sort of 'trigger', such as illness or death of a loved one. Or maybe you are in my boat, where the depression is seemly from an accumulation of disappointments or failures over a long course of time. Either way, it's just a somber feeling. It's like I am dead inside . On the outside, you see me, I'm not smiling but I'm here. I don't even know if I'm trying to smile. I'm just trying to survive the day. All I really want to do is avoid everyone, maybe lay in bed with the covers over my head and wish for the demons to leave me alone. It truly is like a dark cloud is following you around, ready to soak you with angry rain at any moment. In the longer stretches of depression, there may be some sunshine, a laugh shared with a spouse or a joke read on the internet. But the smile fades quickly and then you are back to Sadville, population: you.
The best way I have found to fight this feeling is to listen to music. I love dub reggae, reggae and even classic rock. How can you not get excited when you hear Bob Seger's 'Old time Rock and Roll?' it's awesome. Maybe play it a few times over. When I have a few extra bucks I enjoy traveling. Just having something to look forward to keeps me going. So plan it, pay for it and wait for the big day!!!
#depression #sadness #anxiety #medication #anger
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